Hey Reader,
The NFL playoffs are in full swing! Great entertainment so far. But have you considered how football can improve your marriage?
Let me explain. Watch the video
I played football for 15 years. I began at seven years old and finished my career in college playing for the Naval Academy. I have also been married for almost 14 years. And through my experiences, I've recognized that good football teams have at least 4 characteristics that can improve a marriage.
1) Team Goals Over Personal Goals
A few weeks ago, Saquan Barkley passed up the chance to break a 40-year-old rushing record by sitting out the last regular season game in preparation for the playoffs. Fast forward to today and the Eagles (his team) are preparing for a Superbowl! Personal goals are important. But pursuing team goals leads to a greater sense of trust, alignment and achievement in a relationship. In marriage, I believe God brings a man a woman together as a team to accomplish a bigger purpose than either individual could achieve alone. So, it is important to understand your spouse's needs and to pursue shared goals along with your personal goals. Marriage is better when you're on top of the mountain together!
Do your 2025 goals include your spouse?
2) Good Teams Identify Clear Roles
Lack of clarity on roles can lead to frustration and resentment. Therefore, good football teams have clear roles. Each player fulfills their responsibility to help the team win. In marriage, roles cannot be assumed. Roles must be discussed. Preferences, skills, interests and abilities can influence roles and responsibilities in your relationship. Some responsibilities may change over time due to different seasons of life or important milestones (i.e. having a child or pursuit of a degree). Teams and relationships run more smoothly when roles are clarified.
Are you aligned with your spouse on roles and responsibilities?
3) Good Teams Use Feedback To Improve
A football team uses film sessions to receive feedback. And the film does not lie! In college, it was difficult at times to see my mistakes replayed on film for the team to see. In marriage, constructive criticism can sting at times, but the purpose of feedback is to make you better! Finances, parenting, work schedule, sex, and in-law relationships are all worthy areas to provide feedback to improve your marriage. Positive feedback is also a powerful tool to encourage your spouse. Use it!
Is your marriage a safe space to give and receive honest feedback?
4) Good Teams Persevere through Setbacks
Here is an interesting stat. Only 1 out of 56 Superbowl champions have completed an undefeated season. This means the remaining champions overcame loss and disappointment before they were eventually crowned champions. In marriage, we can't expect every season to be easy. I have personally experienced setbacks in my marriage. My wife and I experienced shock and disappointment when our son was diagnosed with Autism. There have also been times when communication and connection was difficult in our relationship. Yet we persevered. Marriage is not always easy, but you can overcome with the right tools, resources and resolve. If you're in a season that requires perseverance, know that you are not alone. Seek competent outside perspective and support when you are feeling stuck. Know that your marriage can still be great!
Which of these 4 principles resonates with you?
Watch the video
Feel free to respond to this email. Would like to hear your thoughts and feedback!
Until next time,
Andre
